Family court in Missouri is much like life. There are no guarantees. Well, there is one, and that is if you are combative and contentious, you and your soon-to-be former spouse will have a long, expensive, and painful divorce experience.

While there are many things that could improve the child custody proceedings, the divorce process and the courts, most are far beyond your control.

But as with most things in life, you never have a second chance to run through your divorce again and see if you changed some of your decisions, things would turn out better. You only have one chance, so you need try to work toward fostering the best interest of your children.

How to discover and meet those best interests is always the challenge.

If you are divorcing and you have a child or children, you need to remember that you and your spouse are always being watched. Not Big Brother, but your little children. They are sensitive to your body language and your spoken language. They know when you are upset merely by your tone and perhaps even the way in which you walk, or stalk, around the house.

Tension and stress is one of the most damaging aspects of a divorce proceeding, so whatever you can do to reduce that stress will be important.

Cooperation and a commitment to work with their other parent is one way to prevent every action from becoming grounds for returning to court to argue. No, not everything will run smoothly, but searching for grievances will likely uncover some, and the urge to battle over every little thing will not benefit you child in the end.

The family courts are not perfect. They could be improved. However, with your divorce and child custody agreement, active cooperation may be able to help your divorce while other debate the grander issues.

Dallasnews.com, “How divorced parents lost their rights,” Robert E. Emery, New York Times, September 12, 2014